'Letting Go'

Having to let go of someone you irrevocably love, tremendously admire, extremely care for is... hard. really, just thinking about it hurts so bad. when he seems to be the only thing you desire; you ever wanted, you had to let go. i'm trying, really. well at least i'm going to. to the very least bit try, is it bearable? i wonder.

The term 'letting go' itself brings back quite a lot of memories that i wished to not look back to, that i don't want to recall and reminice. i'm so emo now, oh no. i wish i never even gotten myself in this mess, i wish i should've known better, i wish i could at least get over him before its all too hard, getting over him now is the best thing i can do. rather then hurting myself in the end? cz it will be way harder if i am irrevocably in love and can't turn back no more. 

How i wish life is like a fairytale, to be able to live happily ever after and all that. like all those disney princesses, cinderella, ariel, belle, snow white, sleeping beauty they all have their prince and lived happily ever after in the end, oh how i wish. moving on, letting go, i wish i could escape reality and live in my own fantasized world; impossible yes i know. 

this is all for the best, is what i kept repeating to myself. faking a smile, hiding my tears. i've fallen apart. i am regretting, regretting of having to fall for him, regretting of having to get involved with him, i wanna run away, escape. its all too much, the pressure; pain. But yet, this is the right thing to do, its what i should and am going to. I'm ready, ready to face all those ahead of me, to shed those overflowing tears, for all the changes i should get use to. pray for me? Thanks.

advices anyone?